There was never a time as good as the ‘80s for huge, singalong refrains. These seven radio staples have all the nutritional value of Cheez-Whiz and all the grace of a two-by-four to the face, and all of them are incredible. This week, I present Epic Anthem Choruses of the ‘80s.

I’ve always wished that a really cool or interesting song had been #1 on Billboard when I was born. Something that spoke some truth about me. 1988 wasn’t a bad year for personality-defining songs, either. “Red Red Wine,” “Sweet Child ‘o’ Mine,” “Don’t Worry Be Happy” — all #1 hits 30 years ago — could have forsaged my enjoyment of alcohol, my cherubic smile, and my general positivity. Instead, I got stuck with the placid love song “One More Try” by George Michael, meaning that… I might be stuck in the closet? If you see me in the tabloids, don’t say I didn’t warn you.

My friend, Jack, though, landed a real winner: Whitesnake’s 1987 re-release of “Here I Go Again.” It’s a gorgeous hair metal power ballad, with spiritual tones of embracing yourself and blazing new trails. It’s a perfect song to associate with your birth and recommitment to life every year. I’m super jealous.

The chorus is, of course, perfect. The propulsive drums and guitar strikes send the vocals soaring to the stratosphere. Compare it to the 1982 original version of the same song by the same artist, and the 1987 recording’s clear, uptempo production really stands out.

If the song weren’t enough, Whitesnake blessed us with one of the most 1980’s music videos of all time. It’s a doozy. Here, go watch it, even if you’ve seen it 50 times before like I have. Good God, the hair. The lady dancing on the car (later referenced in Bowling for Soup’s “1985”). It’s all too much, but also just right.

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